Rest in Peace

Even after several weeks to mourn, I have been avoiding this post because it makes things so final. The Center of my Universe, Beef Noble, died in mid-November. He died in my arms and I remain grateful to God for making sure that I was home with him when he became ill.

Youngest came over and helped me to contact the Trauma Center and she also guided me in when the damn GPS died on the way. Both Beef and I were in shock and we needed a grown up to step in.

Knowing his advanced age and ailing health, I had been preparing myself for this moment for a couple of years but you are never really prepared. I wasn’t.

I have written this post in my head so many times, dreading the final chapter. I intended to remember all the funny things Beef did - how he hugged but didn’t lick, his former break dancing, how he would lay against the front wheel of my bike when I rode watching TV… it could go on for pages. But I can’t. I still cry when I suddenly think of him and the tears are streaming now.

Beef’s ashes are waiting for Spring when I return up North to scatter them over his favorite places. The remainder will move with me to the Forever Home so that part of him will always be with me.

How can you say good-bye to someone who was such a prominent piece of your life? You can’t but you can say see you again someday. When I get to Heaven, I hope to see Beef younger, darker, pain free and we'll be eager to give each other strong hugs.

Geriatric and Still the Center of my Universe

While Beef is enjoying his life, he is clearly declining. This week he had 3 major falls which I categorize as involving pain, inability to get up without assistance and remaining effects. I’m not going to try to attempt listing the daily falls as he collapses on the floor or trips over the carpet. When Beef has a bad tumble, he falls on his left hip which is his most damaged joint, and then he doesn’t want to put weight on it. Kenzie has suggested giving him shorter walks but I think they are helpful in keeping him as mobile as he continues to be. Beef fell in the gutter full of running water this week and couldn’t get purchase. He was stuck on his back and then rolled and was crying. Another time he fell coming into the front door and was half in and out. Then Beef had what looked like a brief seizure totally freaking me out. When Beef is particularly injured, Silly gives him what aid that she is able. She licks his face; sticks close and lays beside him. She gets worried.

In addition, Beef has one pad that was cut in a fall and he licked all the skin off of it. It looks like a bloody stump.

It’s clear that Beef still finds some enjoyment – wagging his tail at the sight of friends, laying behind me on the days we are here alone, laying in the sun room while I play piano and still enjoys his lifelong favorite treat of bagels (only now mini-low calorie version). But we should all brace ourselves for when belly rubs are no longer requested.

Pet Paparazzi

Well, not technically paparazzi because I invited them, but it was a bizarre blizzard of camera flashes in any regard.

During Silly’s recent K-9 2K event, there were many animal related businesses set up for the crowd under brightly stripped tents. Some had free samples and Silly got a few extra treats just for stopping by. Had it not been for the possibility of a prize basket (form signed by all tents), we probably would have skipped. I’m glad that we did not because we happened upon a pet photographer and her work was awesome. I signed Beef up for a photo session for before we moved, hoping for an outdoor session because Beef would live outside if he could. He LOVES nature.

Heavy rain spoiled those plans so we set up for an inside job. Beef has been feeling so well lately, that he and I sometimes fight again and that was one of those days. It started with his eating grass during the morning walk, continued on through his afternoon grooming and was full blown during the photo session. For those of you who know him well, you’ll be able to tell by the pictures – his ears are down for the most part. He fell once and I tried to get him back up and he growled showing his teeth.

This next Tuesday, the photographer will stop over with Beef’s proofs. I was in a couple of the shots. Out of what must have been hundreds of photos, I’m hoping there is at least one where he looks happy. Beef notoriously hates to cooperate with cameras and being in a bad mood didn’t help matters. I can only try to resist buying multiple mouse pads, tea mugs, etc.

I love the framed photo of Beef that is in my office taken from my bike while he’s doing the belly dance and trying to get me off to play. The quality if poor – just a blown up digital photo – but the memory is wonderful. It’s a given that I will buy at least one large photo to frame. Every day I’m aware that it could be his last and it’s better to do now then wait for later.

Return of the Beefmeister

After a scary rough period, Beef has made an unexpected strong recovery. Not too long ago, walks had degenerated down to an achingly slow creeping along the front lawn. He was in pain, cried for hours each night and could barely walk. Beefer was vomiting often, suffered from acid reflux and sounded hoarse from the throat damage. I was struggling with what my responsibilities to this long-term friend. There was one night in particular that if it was during regular vet office hours, I would have called. We laid together and both cried. But now this. Next time that Bef is not doing well, how will I know if it’s the right time for intervention? Just think – had I opted to put him down last time, it would have been premature. How will I know when it’s for real?

In the meantime, he’s enjoying life as a geriatric, taking our long walks again and hanging near me as if I’m the center of his universe. I know he’s mine.

Happy Birthday Beefer!

The day started with a special happy birthday wake up song, belly rubs, a birthday card and a good walk. Now at the end of the day Beef is getting mini-marshmallows as an extra treat for my big boy (just a few). Beef is even forgetting his geriatric status and rolling around the floor. Every moment is cause for celebration but hitting another big birthday is a treasure. We are both blessed.

Beef's Incident on the Trail

Beef, the Center of my Universe, had an ugly incident on the trail last weekend. Every day with Beef is a reason to be grateful. A few weeks ago he injured his back left leg and watching an arthritic dog walk is bad enough, but it’s heart damaging to see Beef struggle on only 3 legs. We had been out walking and a German Sheppard lunged at him and Beef just can’t move quickly enough creating the first injury. Since then, we’ve only been going in the front of the house and I carry him up the stairs.
Last weekend Beef seemed strong enough to walk a little way on the trail, not far but enough so he could feel more normal. We were on the way back to the house, when a man with two beagles approached. They were on one those stupid two branch leashes. The dogs all were interested in each other but I asked the beagle boy to pull them back as my dog is infirmed. He didn’t. WTF? And then, just the thing I was worried about happened – one of the dogs jumped over on top of Beef and took him down. The short leash section was not long enough and that was what smashed Beef down, not the dog himself. Poor Beef fell back and dropped like a boulder on the dirt with his injured leg held up as if his hip was broken.
I practically went insane. Beef was my main focus and I dropped to his side trying to assess the damage all the while assailing this MF who allowed my Precious to get hurt. The guy backed off but kept calling back to me, “Can I help, is there anything I can do” while I yell “#^&*!!, you’ve done enough already”. At this point I’m absolutely sure that my baby is injured enough to be put down. I’ve never seen him hold his body in such a way. My heart was really breaking. I sit down next to Beef where he’s lying in the dirt, Kenzie comes rushing out of the house afraid for Beef. Son of a gun if Beef didn’t pop up - all that drama for nothing. Thankfully the guy I was berating was out of sight.
One week later Beef is still having severe mobility issues and I’m keenly aware that his days here will not be many.

Introduction to Beef

Beef is a geriatric dog of mixed descent – lab and chow. Fortunately, he has the best assets of each breed – loyal, bright, smart and loving. He’s not now, nor has never been, what is considered a “normal” dog. Beef doesn’t play (an activity he gave up shortly after we adopted his brother), I’m not sure if he’s ever licked me (he’s a sniffer) and he prefers to be hugged rather than petted. He has a sensitive stomach with unattractive after effects which is much easier to manage now that the kids are out of the house and Doritos and popcorn are no longer a feast to discover spilled on the floor. Otherwise, his smell could peel the paint off the ceiling. I love this dog so much despite, maybe because of, his quirks, we are perfect for each other. I used to say he was a fat man in a dog suit but he recently started dieting and that description no longer applies. He used to outweigh me but now he’s smaller and I’m bigger so who knows.
Because Beef is ancient and was at one time very overweight, he developed arthritis (diagnosed while we live on Scandia – maybe 7/8 years ago). He has extreme mobility issues but he still loves life and is a happy boy. We may need a wheelchair ramp soon because he falls up the stairs and freaks out. Recently we’ve put his bowls up on a bench because he was having trouble reaching down. It works.
Beef will be a regular on these pages because he is the center of my universe. Here’s one detail before I go. Beef does not meet me at the door with unbridled enthusiasm as most dogs. Even if he’s awake, it’s hard to get up. But once he does, Beef likes to perform a full body hug, shoving his shoulder against my leg and pushing hard. And he’ll stay there until he decides otherwise. Back in his youth he would be at the door after dates and often pin some unsuspecting guy against the wall with his head in their crotch. The look on their faces was ... as you might expect. Maybe that’s how he tested them. If so, then he’s no judge of character because he absolutely adored a couple of my worst boyfriends.
Beef - MTF